Life and Love: Those dumb married people :)

The Good Morrow

I wonder by my troth, what thou and I
Did till we loved? Were we not weaned till then,
But sucked on country pleasures, childishly?
Or snorted we in the seven sleepers' den?
'Twas so; but this, all pleasures fancies be.
If ever any beauty I did see,
Which I desired, and got, 'twas but a dream of thee.

And now good morrow to our waking souls,
Which watch not one another out of fear;
For love, all love of other sights controls,
And makes one little room, an everywhere.
Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone,
Let maps to others, worlds on worlds have shown.
Let us possess on world, each hath one, and is one.

My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres
Without sharp north, without declining west?
Whatever dies was not mixed equally;
If our two loves be one, both thou and I
Love so alike, that none do slacken, none can die.

I felt that was an apt beginning. If you are wondering what the heck all that fancy language means, perhaps you should study it a little harder. :) A fitting title might be: I never lived until I met you, for now that I have you, the rest of the world seems strangely insignificant. Or perhaps another title may be: The rest of mankind may search for worlds without end, discovering new and better places; but for me, the only world I desire is the one we create together. I'm sure there are other possible interpretations. The beauty of poetry is how it speaks to every person differently, with different melodies and meanings.
Tonight I want to write about love. And marriage. I am concerned with what I hear from too many young LDS people. Not only do many express fears about marriage and "falling in love" as we call it, but many go beyond fear into a hopeless desire to do neither. I call it hopeless for several reasons. Mainly because when you begin to feel that way, you abandon all hope and therefore all desire to ever experience the greatest happiness life has to offer you. You drift so far as to even lose any desire to ever have that happiness.
Now, many people have fears about marraige. If anyone has looked at the April ensign, they would notice several articles on temple marraige and dating. This may be because there is a growing trend in the Church to prolong dating and put off marraige. In his article Lance B. Wickman cites 3 reasons why this trend may be occuring. The first is a tendancy to hang out instead of date. The second is the fear of making a mistake. The third an adolsecent recoiling from responsibility.
I wish to address the third reason. Way too many people are afraid of responsibility. That is called selfishness. Conratry to popular belief, it should be avoided. Being in love (I mean really in love, not infatuated or in a "temporary relationship" for kicks) is marked by unselfishness. It means being willing to put someone else above yourself. It means putting the wants of someone else above your own. It means growing up and deciding to be responsible. Don't be scared, it is worth it.
I have heard from some LDS singles that after their friends get married, they never see them again and it feels like they dropped off the face of the earth. Guess what? They did! What so many singles don't understand is that being married (which I'm using synonomously with being in love) is like being in a cloud. That doesn't mean its easy-no, its definitly not easy! What it means is that often you feel similar to the poem above. You are seperated from the world, in one of your own, one that past friends often don't understand until they create their own like it. I've at times pondered on why these feelings of seperation come, why this sudden gap between the old life I had and the new one I lead?
The answer: My life is now defined by selflessness. I feel a disconnection from many of my past friends (who aren't married themselves) because my life is defined by someone else besides myself. Crazy thought? Yes.
Every day I work more hours, go to school, keep my body healthy, and do housework mainly to provide for my husband and help him be happy. I cook, clean, wash, scrub, work, study, run, lift, and live to make him happy. And when I have children I will do all these things even more. Why? Why would I willingly choose to devote my time and energy to working hard for someone else for the rest of my life? Because I am happy to do so. I am happier every day I do so. Of course I'm not perfect, I do have selfish, childish moments and days but the more I work to be unselfish the happier I become. The more contented with life I become. The more fulfilling my hard work is. I lose myself to find myself.
But it bothers me that many don't seem to understand this principle. It bothers me that I hear girls in the hall belittling marriage. It bothers me that to way too many people, getting married seems a foolish idea. But explaining it to them is like trying to explain color to someone who is blind. They are so happy in their black and white world that they don't understand why people choose to live in one with color. Beautiful, bright, vibrant color. Color that makes every day worth living a billion times more than it was before. But they don't see that. They continue to live in their lives full of relationships that don't last and selfishness that runs rampant. I don't always understand why. But what do I know? Some of my once closest friends believe I know nothing. But I guess to some I've always known nothing.
The main message: Life is good. And as a dying man once told me, clutching me in his arms, tears running down his face, "Don't waste it."