The End is Near

So its been a long time. Mostly because I have been busy working and doing school. But school is almost over forever and all I have left is a few nasty papers and a test. Its honestly a total relief to be done, I can't wait to have just a little more freedom. I feel excited to get on with my life and let go of the people, the professors, and the classes from the past. Sometimes its nice to know how transitory everything is and I'm lucky that I have always been a letting go kind of person. Ending college means starting a new chapter in my life-one hopefully a little better. I am ready for a new adventure and crossing my fingers that in a year that means leaving the state forever too. I still cherish the hope that we can be by family but wherever we go I will be both excited and nervous as usual. Life has not been terrible here, its just not what I hope our future is like. Right now we are building the foundations for better experiences up the road and I recognize that although I shouldn't dwell on the future too much my hard work will eventually improve it.

Right now we are doing fine, I am for the most part enjoying my new job. The girls I work with are way fun and I have one who is in my ward so we are getting to be good friends. Braden and I love our ward and for once the people are friendly and inviting. I am finally in Relief Society and going to stay with the calling of Compassionate Service leader. Mostly I love the camaraderie in our ward and so far we have made some good friends. Our apartment is great too and I have had fun getting it put together, although it is still not done. I spent very little time home this semester so I am still on the road to get the last few boxes unpacked.

I am excited for the summer agenda of going to Oregon for camping and then Seattle after graduation. The first vacation is with Braden's family and we are not really camping we are renting a house near Gold Beach because of Bowen and Ashley's new baby. I was disappointed at first but now I am glad because after a 15 hour car drive I probably will not feel like sleeping on the ground! But anyway that should be fun and we have never taken a family trip like that before with them. Then in August I will walk after which we will fly to Seattle with my parents and spend a week with them there. I love visiting there and I hope someday we can live nearby but for now it is way fun to visit as much as possible. Our most recent trip was down to Hatch to see my BF Elexia and her new baby who is adorable. We had so much fun and it was nice to get away for even just a weekend. (If you read this Lex hang in there and I am thinking of you!)

So our summer has been and will be fun and exciting and filled with new memories and new friends. And graduation which makes it even better!

P.S. Thanks for talking mom and I miss you!

Today is a good day. Today is one of those "I love life" days. So forgive me while I bask in my life. Friends' blogs always prompt me to write on my own, maybe its because I feel like I have nothing to say about my life unless I'm reacting to something. So yes, you three people in the world who read my ridiculous blog, I have probably been recently reading yours as well.

I often get nostalgic for days gone by, mostly days with my family, but moving on has never been hard for me. Leaving highschool was more than easy, I was busting down the doors to get out. Graduating from college is about the same, even though my life is much less predictable and has more risk. I am ready, not because I am pining for the future, but because I know that I have learned what I came here to learn. I feel that I have other responsibilities, other priorities, that I need to step up and do. My lifestyle is so different than most of my peers (at least in my classes because English isn't as tiered)--I don't stay up late anymore hanging out, I don't go to restuarants at midnight, I definitly am not religiously on Facebook, and even though life isn't perfect I have the only person I need to be happy right now. I feel fully adult, with reality and bills hitting me in the face regularly and more responsibilities than myself. I think this makes the big difference in my life, not that you have to be married etc. to be happy and mature, but what helps me be ready for life after college is that my life hasn't been only college up to this point. I know I have more growing to do, obviously the life-changing realm of mothergood looms before me, yet to be reached. But I will always be growing, learning, and maturing if I live my life well. So for now, I don't feel the need to stay, there is nothing more to learn. My freshman year, highschool, etc. seem ages ago, like a different lifetime, almost like the person I am now didn't even live them--and in a way I guess that is true. I look forward to where one of my friends is, with a baby and a house and a well-settled life, and I look back to where another friend is, with so much still before her. And on a day like today, I am so happy to be in the middle!

Some Inspiration

Lately I have been thinking about my future...worrying about it is probably a much more apt term. My dream for the last several years has been to graduate with my bachelors degree and then be a stay-at-home mom. Sounds great, right? Well, because of circumstances I have lately been thinking that perhaps I should have a Plan B, just in case Plan A doesn't quite work out. Endless ideas have been running rampant through my head, "should I go on to get a Masters degree," "should I get some other form of education, like from beauty school or culinary art school," "should I just work at the job I have that I don't really like until I want to die," "should I find a new job that I might like better," and on and on and on. To fix this problem of voices in my head, I decided (after much perturbation) to consult one of my professors on the subject. Now, I don't usually appraoch faculty members of BYU with my personal concerns nor do I listen to much of their advice (perhaps a failing) but in this instance I felt somewhat prompted to do so. Everyone has a teacher who has influenced their life for good, usually from highschool. Mostly because my highschool teachers were somewhat liberal and didn't wear deoderant, I previously had no experience with this phenomenon. But almost from the first day of class, I felt that if any teacher was ever going to understand me, it was going to be this one. And I was right.

Our talk provided me with lots of good advice to think about. Mostly it came down to the fact that 1) I need to decide what I really want in my life and 2) I need to find the best way to get there with the help of the Lord. So, from a talk by President Faust entitled "How Near to the Angels," also recommended by my professor, I discovered this list: "For women, the important ingredients for happiness are to forge an identity, serve the Lord, get an education, develop your talents, [and] serve your family." This seemed like stellar advice, so I made a list for myself (which I recommend for others feeling a little lost or really anyone at all) and because of my own vanity I am going to list it here.
1. Forge and identity: Who am I?
I am Danielle. I love to read, espcially beautiful, inspiring poetry. I love romantic fiction and movies, as well as mysteries. I love to laugh. I love to love things-I have a lot of "favorites." I love to cook and bake and eat chocolate. I love to be with Braden. I love to read the scriptures, the Bible is my favorite, especially Isiaiah. I love to think, organize, plan, and then do. I want to be a mom, even though I know I may not like doing all of the things that come along with it. I want a simple life with a family in a small house in a quiet neighborhood and probably a dog. I want to take kids to soccor, bake cookies, clean the house, and do domestic stuff like that. I want to find socks everywhere and hear laughing and playing outside. I want to be happy and to love everyone.
Basically I decided that my identity is the things I like to do, the people and things I love, and the things I want.
2. How can I serve the Lord?
Go to the temple, love other people, read my scriptures, say my prayers, pay my tithing and give a generous fast offering. Love my God with all my heart, love my neighbor as myself, and love myself--my big nose, my straight hair, my normal body, my passions, my melancholies, my joys.
3. Get an education
Although I have felt some pressure to continue in this area, I was reminded today that the purpose of an education is learning how to learn and critcally think through problems. I have learned what I need to continue my own path of learning. I will be a student my entire life because I have made a choice to be so, with or without more formal education.
4. Develop talents: What talents have I developed and what could I develop?
Obviously everything I love to do is a talent I possess. I have a talent for creating beautiful things and have done my best to develop that talent. I could improve some of my baking skills with books and practice, and I could develop the watercolor and gardening skills I have always wanted. Talents also have to do with people. I have the natural ability to easily love others and to see the good in them, unfortunately as I have focused on my own problems this talent has waned. I should develop it more fully and not be afraid to show the love that I feel.
5. How can I serve my family?
Each of us has many roles in a family unit. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a granddaughter, as well as others. I have always loved my family but I could always do more to serve them. Often I focus on how much I miss my parents who live far away instead of looking for ways that I can serve them even though we are seperated. I can call my brother more and ask him how he is doing, I can do more for my grandmother. And of course, I can always do much more for Braden.

What I discovered while making my list is what truly makes me happy, the one thing I could identitfy and seize with all my heart. What I love most in life is to create beautiful things. Whether that is an arranged vase of flowers, a birthday cake for my father-in-law, or a smile on someone else's face. Like President Uchdorf's book, "The Remarkable Soul of a Woman," counsels, I love to create, to imagine, and to give. If I find a way to encorperate this aspect of myself into my life, then I will always be happy. Today was a day of self-discovery and inspiration, and I hope anyone reading this will have days like that too. Thanks professor.

Birthday

So my birthday was pretty darn good considering the physical and emotional upheaval. :) The day began around 4:00am and ended around 11:00pm so it was a long day. We moved from the house in Spanish Fork, dropped our kitties off at the animal shelter (terribly sad), and found out that our new apartment has no gas (i.e. no heat or hot water in a snowstorm). So we spent the night in the Fraser's living room while they were out of town. But the evening was fabulous. Around 7:00 Dayton and Braden (who had apparently been plotting all week) took me to dinner at a wonerful Mexican restaurant, gave me lovely presents, and we ate cake from Cold Stone icecream! Dayton made the cake himself and it was SO good--it was cheesecake ice cream with graham crackers, yellow cake, and a raspberry filling covered in raspberry whipped topping and dipped raspberries. SO good. By the end of the night I was exhausted so Braden and I went back to Spanish Fork and crashed. The next day we slept in and eventually went to church. We ate birthday cake and french toast all day. :) Overall a good weekend, although physically and emotionally draining with the move and everything. Its hard to explain the feelings that went along with that, suffice it to say that it was a difficult transition to say the least. But everyone has their own problems I guess.

This is what my cake looked like--except it was raspberry instead of strawberry and had my name on it!

Blue Skies

As you have noticed, I decided to change the name of my blog...for several reasons. Being a fairy-tale girl, I feel like I have waited my whole life for my magic carpet. Like a dear friend has recently done, I too will compare myself to a disney movie. I always felt like Jazmine from the movie Aladdin, waiting to fly away like the birds in my cage but never really knowing how. Fly away to happiness, love, everything I dreamed of. I was waiting for a magic carpet to fly to my bedroom window and help me escape-hence the name, The Magic Carpet.

But now I'm different. I don't know why. All I know is I don't want to wait anymore. Some people spend their whole lives just waiting for things to get better (I have definitly subscribed to this philosphy), someday I will have this, or this, or someday I won't have to worry about this or this, etc. But that, as my mother has repeatedly told me, is not a good way to live. The problem with high expectations is that the grass may seem greener, but it never really is. Not to sound negative or anything, life really does have its ups and downs and some situations are much better than others, but in reality nothing is going to make you much happier than what you already have.

As my mom would say, attitude is everything. If you spend all your time thinking about what you wish your life was like instead of being happy with the life you have now then you will always be unhappy. It probably sounds like a "duh" moment for everyone else reading this, but its something I always struggle with. I have so much to be happy about. I have a wonderful family and good memories from my childhood that still make me laugh and give me joy. I have an amazing husband with ambition and dreams and so much love in his heart for me. I have great friends who care about me and are willing to listen and to help me when I am in trouble. Aren't those the things that really matter? I think that should be enough to make me happy for lifetimes!

Hence the new name of my blog, Blue Skies. I want to live a life thats full and rich and good, I want to see blue skies everywhere I go and in everyone I meet. I was thinking of the old song by Irving Berlin, "Blue skies, smiling at me, nothing but blue skies do I see. Bluebirds, singing a song, nothing but bluebirds all day long." Thats the kind of life I want and I am no longer willing to wait for it to come, I want to make my own life the one I've always dreamed it would be.

Changes

Sorry for the delay, but some changes have occured and therefore the plan for my blog has changed. First of all, Braden and I have to move again, so there may not be a lot about decorating...at least for a little while. Secondly, our move has once again cast us into financial difficulty and therefore there will be a hold on my cooking as well, at least until I can afford the ingredients for new recipes. So far I have tried two from my italian cookbook and they have been fabulous so I will blog about them soon.
Thats really all the news I have.

The Plan

So, before I go into my master plan for the year (or at least the next few months), I have to say that I had an exciting Thursday last week. Well, more like slightly frightening. I was driving to work and while I was going down the road at a pretty good speed lo and behold my tire flew off my car and bounced to the other side of the road. In case you don't know, three tires doesn't work when you are trying to drive a car. My drivers side hit the ground and I skidded off to the side of the icy road. Braden was not home at the time so I called my in-laws who helped me get to work and watched the car until Braden got there. It was rather exciting, like James Bond or something, watching my tire fly off. We figured out that someone (who will remain nameless) was rotating the tires and didn't get the front left one tightened. The next day the car went to the shop and everything is ok now, but I just thought I would share that little tid-bit of my life. Who says I never have adventures?
Now on to the plan. Thanks to the inspirational Bloom blog I follow, I chose a theme for the coming year which is actually on my blog (convienient) in the form of a button/blinkie thingamagig. It says "live the life you love, love the life you live." I have decided that I don't enjoy my life enough and that it needs a boost of...something. So far, this is what I'm going to do over the next little while to help myself love my life.
First, I want to blog about some cooking, but every day seems kind of excessive, I probably won't be able to with homework and stuff. But, I did buy an italian cookbook (don't ask my if it's authentic, I don't know, but it looked good) and about once a week I'm going to try a new recipe from it and blog about it. I'm not as cool as Julie from the movie and my husband is a little more picky than hers, so there might be variations on certain recipes or some skipped ones. That happens when your husband doesn't like onions, tomatoes, bell peppers, garlic, mushrooms, etc. But, we are going to make the attempt anyway!
Second, I have decided that my house is entirely too dull and that it needs more fun and color. So I am redecorating, one room at a time. The goal is bright, vibrant color, which is going to be difficult with the yellow and green walls the house has, but oh well. But be prepared for that as well.
So that is the plan! Its all about changing my enviornment as best I can and changing myself to have a better attitude about life. Hopefully this year will be much better than the last!
Happy New Year!