Lately I have been thinking about my future...worrying about it is probably a much more apt term. My dream for the last several years has been to graduate with my bachelors degree and then be a stay-at-home mom. Sounds great, right? Well, because of circumstances I have lately been thinking that perhaps I should have a Plan B, just in case Plan A doesn't quite work out. Endless ideas have been running rampant through my head, "should I go on to get a Masters degree," "should I get some other form of education, like from beauty school or culinary art school," "should I just work at the job I have that I don't really like until I want to die," "should I find a new job that I might like better," and on and on and on. To fix this problem of voices in my head, I decided (after much perturbation) to consult one of my professors on the subject. Now, I don't usually appraoch faculty members of BYU with my personal concerns nor do I listen to much of their advice (perhaps a failing) but in this instance I felt somewhat prompted to do so. Everyone has a teacher who has influenced their life for good, usually from highschool. Mostly because my highschool teachers were somewhat liberal and didn't wear deoderant, I previously had no experience with this phenomenon. But almost from the first day of class, I felt that if any teacher was ever going to understand me, it was going to be this one. And I was right.
Our talk provided me with lots of good advice to think about. Mostly it came down to the fact that 1) I need to decide what I really want in my life and 2) I need to find the best way to get there with the help of the Lord. So, from a talk by President Faust entitled "How Near to the Angels," also recommended by my professor, I discovered this list: "For women, the important ingredients for happiness are to forge an identity, serve the Lord, get an education, develop your talents, [and] serve your family." This seemed like stellar advice, so I made a list for myself (which I recommend for others feeling a little lost or really anyone at all) and because of my own vanity I am going to list it here.
1. Forge and identity: Who am I?
I am Danielle. I love to read, espcially beautiful, inspiring poetry. I love romantic fiction and movies, as well as mysteries. I love to laugh. I love to love things-I have a lot of "favorites." I love to cook and bake and eat chocolate. I love to be with Braden. I love to read the scriptures, the Bible is my favorite, especially Isiaiah. I love to think, organize, plan, and then do. I want to be a mom, even though I know I may not like doing all of the things that come along with it. I want a simple life with a family in a small house in a quiet neighborhood and probably a dog. I want to take kids to soccor, bake cookies, clean the house, and do domestic stuff like that. I want to find socks everywhere and hear laughing and playing outside. I want to be happy and to love everyone.
Basically I decided that my identity is the things I like to do, the people and things I love, and the things I want.
2. How can I serve the Lord?
Go to the temple, love other people, read my scriptures, say my prayers, pay my tithing and give a generous fast offering. Love my God with all my heart, love my neighbor as myself, and love myself--my big nose, my straight hair, my normal body, my passions, my melancholies, my joys.
3. Get an education
Although I have felt some pressure to continue in this area, I was reminded today that the purpose of an education is learning how to learn and critcally think through problems. I have learned what I need to continue my own path of learning. I will be a student my entire life because I have made a choice to be so, with or without more formal education.
4. Develop talents: What talents have I developed and what could I develop?
Obviously everything I love to do is a talent I possess. I have a talent for creating beautiful things and have done my best to develop that talent. I could improve some of my baking skills with books and practice, and I could develop the watercolor and gardening skills I have always wanted. Talents also have to do with people. I have the natural ability to easily love others and to see the good in them, unfortunately as I have focused on my own problems this talent has waned. I should develop it more fully and not be afraid to show the love that I feel.
5. How can I serve my family?
Each of us has many roles in a family unit. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a granddaughter, as well as others. I have always loved my family but I could always do more to serve them. Often I focus on how much I miss my parents who live far away instead of looking for ways that I can serve them even though we are seperated. I can call my brother more and ask him how he is doing, I can do more for my grandmother. And of course, I can always do much more for Braden.
What I discovered while making my list is what truly makes me happy, the one thing I could identitfy and seize with all my heart. What I love most in life is to create beautiful things. Whether that is an arranged vase of flowers, a birthday cake for my father-in-law, or a smile on someone else's face. Like President Uchdorf's book, "The Remarkable Soul of a Woman," counsels, I love to create, to imagine, and to give. If I find a way to encorperate this aspect of myself into my life, then I will always be happy. Today was a day of self-discovery and inspiration, and I hope anyone reading this will have days like that too. Thanks professor.
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